'Chop Chop'

Rough, emotional times call for a book that contains:

• Sarcasm
• Craziness
• Drugs
• Murder
• Cooking food
• Coworkers who constantly make inappropriate sexual references/actions
• Nicknames that shall remain nameless
• A fat man

So, after suffering a tremendous loss last week, I found myself escaping into a book that is brilliant, hilarious, somewhat tender, and lacking in social graces.

Of course, I have to recommend it.  'Chop Chop', the first novel from Simon Wroe, is exactly what I needed.

I laughed my butt off while reading one passage, and then found myself wondering just who the Fat Man really is.

Our narrator is fresh out of college, ready to take on the world and write the biggest bestselling book the world has ever known.  But reality smacks him in the face:  Soon two months behind in rent, he takes a menial job in the kitchen of The Swan, a once-grand restaurant that is now struggling to survive.  Having never worked in the restaurant business (and not knowing a knife from a spatula), his new coworkers hassle, torment, and give him the nickname, 'Monocle', because of his useless English lit degree.  But Monocle assimilates quickly (although he still fumbles with knives and cooking in general), and the sadistic head chef, Bob, soon finds a new victim of his cruelty, a cruelty that knows no bounds and sets the wheels turning.

But a darker tale begins to unfold when the mysterious Fat Man appears.  While Monocle and his coworkers plot to overthrow Bob, Monocle's deadbeat dad comes to stay, and his mere presence sets off a thrilling, dark, and ruthless conclusion.

Wroe's brilliant descriptions of his characters and his talent for expressing impending doom perfectly bring about a great ending, one that totally surprised me.

It's safe to say that I could barely set this book down, although I have three other books waiting.  I just couldn't stay away from 'Chop Chop'.  When this book is released, buy it for friends/family who are in the restaurant business.  Buy it for someone who loves dark comedy.

Buy it for someone who is going through a sad time.  It takes a great talent to make someone laugh through their tears.

And Simon Wroe has it.


'Chop Chop' will be released in April 2014 by The Penguin Press.  Book Hog thanks the publisher for the advance copy!

'But I Digress...'

It's been a difficult, tear-filled week...

My reading and reviewing is suffering, but it's nothing compared to the suffering I'm experiencing right now.

You see, I lost my 'little girl', my darling cat, my Molly.  She had cancer, and it had been hiding until very recently.  It was discovered on Monday.  And that's when I spent almost an hour saying goodbye to her.  The vet was kind and compassionate (he recently lost his beloved dog); he gave me options, but told me that it would just prolong her suffering.

I first met her when she was about 8 weeks old.  My daughter brought her home, and when I saw the little thing, I immediately said, "I will not fall in love with it!  I refuse!" (we had just lost a cat about a month before).  So, as I stomped off to the kitchen, the little black and white bundle followed me.  Of course I fed her.  Of course I stared at her.

Of course I fell in love with her.

She has been with me for (almost) eleven years; she would have celebrated her birthday just this November.

But life is cruel.  Life takes away the ones you love, and I loved her to the moon and back.

My Brave Little Toaster investigating the dog

She licked my tears when I cried.  She cuddled me while I was reading.  She jumped into the laundry basket the minute after I filled it with clean, warm clothing.  She always made me follow her to the litter box because one of our other cats loved to torment her when she was at her most vulnerable.  She was tiny and delicate; feminine and dainty.  But she could be fierce.  She stood her ground with the best of them.  She was my 'Brave Little Toaster'.  She was the one who had the courage to sniff the dog, and welcome our Porch Cat.  


Molly is the inspiration for the children's book I'm writing.  She is (and always will be) the president of the Evil Plan Bureau, an association created to get rid of our visiting dog, who, by the way, simply adored the little cat.

Every time I look at my 'reading chair', I picture her sleeping there.  But it hurts now to know that that was the last place she slept.  

It hurts to lose a best friend, especially one who was so devoted to me.  I'll miss her 'bee noises', that little deep trill she made whenever she jumped onto my lap.  

Although most people might scoff at the notion of a 'Rainbow Bridge', I do not.  I know that she has crossed it and is now playing with my other beloved animal friends, chasing butterflies and begging for a nice bowl of milk.  She might even be waiting for me.  

But today, I did something I thought I'd never do:  I asked her to come back to me.



And she will.  



They always do.




Rest in peace, my sweetest little friend.

'The Song of the Quarkbeast'

In January 2013, I reviewed a children's book written by one of my favorite authors, Jasper Fforde, author of the amazing book, 'The Last Dragonslayer'.   The second book in the series was published late last year, but because Jasper is a popular guy, it seemed to take me forever to get 'The Song of the Quarkbeast' from the library.

It was worth the wait (although I would have been happier if I had had it much sooner).

Reading about the further adventures of Jennifer Strange (foundling, acting manager of Kazam Mystical Arts, and friend to all-downtrodden-creatures) made me feel as if it were 'old home week'.  Jennifer reminds me of another of Jasper's most remarkable heroines, Thursday Next.  They are both very brave, very smart, and very funny, while most around them are incredibly silly.

Yes, silly.  Fforde's silly dialogue and situations abound, and he has a gift of translating them for the younger crowd.  

Magical power is finally on the rise, and King Snodd IV of the Ununited Kingdom realizes that whoever controls magic controls the world.  But one person stands between Snodd and his diabolical plans:  Jennifer Strange.  By rigging a bridge-building contest between the magicians of Kazam and the magicians of iMagic, Snodd and his cohorts are certain they will soon control all magic.  

The characters are so finely and unforgettably written that it isn't hard to immerse yourself in the second book.  And there is even a touch of romance that is at once sweet, yet frustrating.  

But it is the dialogue that is most remembered by this little Book Hog.  Full of silliness and jokes, I found myself laughing out loud many times.  Fforde has a definite grasp on his audience, and while I was in the midst of reading the 'Thursday Next' series once again, it was a real pleasure to switch to his new series.  I didn't miss a step.

And neither did Jasper Fforde, Master of all Silliness.



'The Song of the Quarkbeast', published by Harcourt Publishing (a division of Houghton Mifflin), is available at your local library and independent bookstores.  

'Finding Colin Firth'

All of us face difficulties, sometimes.  We get stressed, we get scared, we worry. Money, rent/mortgage payments, food, utility bills.  It's to the point that quite a few of us can't get a full night's sleep.

So, after facing a most difficult week (and a huge disappointment, job-wise), I turned to the only thing that could take my mind off my problems.

I escaped to a bathtub full of hot water and a good book.  Not a heavy book, mind you. Something light.  Something that would make me smile.  Can't overwork the brain when there are already a million things swirling around in there.

My book of choice this time was 'Finding Colin Firth', a delightful story written by Mia March.  The plot is easy to digest, and, yes, it made me smile.  After reading it in one sitting (or, should I say, soaking), I stepped out of the tub feeling a bit better.

A film company has set up shop in the small, coastal Maine town of Boothbay Harbor, where rumors swirl that actor Colin Firth will be starring in the movie.  Journalist Gemma Hendricks, recently let go from her job on a newspaper in New York, is sure that getting an interview with the actor will revive her lost career and save her rocky marriage.  But she finds herself on a richer path when she discovers the local unwed mother's home and decides to write a story about it.

Bea Crane is a twenty-two year old woman who finds out that she was adopted. Learning that her birth mother, Veronica Russo, lives in Boothbay Harbor, Bea travels there to meet her, but she is finding it hard to find the courage to do so. Veronica has traveled all over the country, and has come back home to face her past.  Known for her famous 'healing pies', she is a legend in the town not just for her baking, but for the fact that she had given birth to a child when she was just a teenager.  Upon learning that the film company is hiring extras, Veronica finds the courage to apply...and is hired.

These three women come together and share their stories about life, motherhood, the past, and their mutual love of Colin Firth.

Although the book is a quick read, it delighted me, nonetheless.  

And the mention of Colin Firth stepping out of the lake in 'Pride and Prejudice'?

The stress magically disappeared.



'Finding Colin Firth', published by Gallery Books (a division of Simon & Schuster), is available at your local library and independent bookstore.

'The Sisters Brothers'

In a reader's Book World, it's a delight to have two good books on the nightstand. But when a reader has three or four, it's more than a delight; it's a Book Hog paradise.

What's very nice is if one of the books is The One.  The One you've really really waited for; The One that is most probably the next in a beloved series. The One you've set your sights on.  You stupidly think that the other books won't be as wonderful.

But this time, Book World slapped me in the face.  The book I'd been waiting for for years turned out to be...meh.  Not what I expected.  The other two?

Couldn't put them down.

One was 'Above' (I reviewed it just yesterday).

The other was 'The Sisters Brothers'.  I can now see why this strange, wonderful western was shortlisted for the Man Booker prize.

It was interesting trying to juggle my reading time between the two, although both of them accompanied me to my favorite reading place, the bath tub.  

'The Sisters Brothers', by Patrick deWitt, tells the tale of Eli and Charlie Sisters, hired killers employed by a mysterious, powerful man known only as Commodore. Charlie and Eli are sent out in pursuit of Hermann Kermit Warm, a man who has something that the Commodore wants. During their journey from Oregon City to Warm's gold claim outside of Sacramento, the brothers run into situations that test their nerves. And the characters they meet are an assortment of ne'er-do-wells, prostitutes, liars, and scoundrels. It is during this journey that the quiet, thoughtful Eli begins to question why he chose that particular role in life...and who is he really working for?

I dip my toe in many genres, and I've always appreciated and respected western novels. Robert Parker left us with many fine westerns, and Zane Grey is tops on my list, as is Charles Portis. And although 'The Sisters Brothers' is set during the 1850's, it left a contemporary taste in my mouth. The narrator, Eli, has musings that are timeless; Why am I here?  Why do I do what I do?  How can I change it?

Eli, unlike Charlie, falls in love easily, and has a charitable heart, which is rather ironic for a man who kills people for a living.  And Charlie...oh, Charlie. A boozer, brilliant with his gun, living day-to-day, and not questioning what his future holds. Both brothers are so very close, yet so far away.  

deWitt's characters are beautifully realized, and I cannot for the life of me ever forget them. The whole novel is a comic tour de force, and brought to mind the work of Mark Twain, one of my favorite authors.  

But most importantly, it doesn't matter if you don't enjoy reading western novels. 'The Sisters Brothers' has something for everyone.

Give it a chance...and prepare to laugh your butt off.

'The Sisters Brothers' is available at your favorite bookstore and local library.

'Above'

Claustrophobia is a funny thing.  One moment, I can be happily soaking in the tub, and the next, I begin thinking about death...and coffins...and being buried...while I'm still alive.  Then, I start thinking about being in prison, where there is no freedom, where I cannot go where I please. I even think about being locked (usually by accident) in a room and not being able to get out.

Yeah, it's a funny thing.  But when I start to think about other things (like taking deep breaths, or picking up a book), the feeling goes away and I'm once more able to go on with my life.  Claustrophobia can appear unbidden, even when one is standing in an open field.

So, it's rather hard to for me to read stories about people locked away against their will.  It's bad enough that I learn about real-life incidents from the news.  But the captive has escaped (which makes me joyful) and I know that person will write a book about her experiences...but I really don't want to read it.  

As I said, claustrophobia is a funny thing.  

'Gerald's Game' by Stephen King was a hard story for me to read.  Imagine participating in a sex game with your partner; you're handcuffed to the headboard...and your partner suddenly dies.  And there you are.  No water, no food, no telephone.  I read the book one time, and I'll never read it again.

Then came 'Room' by the always brilliant Emma Donoghue.  A woman captured and held against her will. She has a child, and the story is told through his eyes.  Such innocence did not comfort me.  

Placing the reader inside the skin of the major protagonist is the mark of a talented storyteller; you feel the pain, the joy. You take each step with them, no matter how hard it is for you the breathe.

And the newest hard-to-breathe book is 'Above' by Isla Morley, whose previous novel, 'Come Sunday', left a huge impression on me.  Morley is a stunning talent, and her well-drawn characters will leave their marks upon you (I. See. A. Movie.).  I was so mesmerized that I couldn't put down the book.

'Above' is the story of Blythe Hallowell, a teenager living in Kansas, who is abducted and forced to live in a silo.  Her abductor tells her that the world is coming to an end, and he wants to protect her.  Left without her family (and always hoping that they will find her), she learns to adapt to her sterile surroundings, but retains her dreams of standing in the sun and clean air, and appreciating everything she once took for granted.  Her captor is a madman, and someone who lived in her town.  Someone who lurked in the corner of her life.  She tries to escape numerous times, but her captor is always a step ahead of her.  The years pass, but she still retains her resistance despite the crushing loneliness.  But when a child comes into her life, she is determined to do anything to give him the life above that he deserves.

I could go on, but I hate providing spoilers.  Let's just say that I was surprised, to say the least.  Like 'The Lovely Bones', this one will promote serious discussions among reading group members.

We'll let it go at that.  Read 'Above'...

...and be sure to breathe.




'Above', the brilliant new novel from Isla Morley, will be published in March 2014 by Gallery Books, a division of Simon & Schuster.  You will be able to find it at independent bookstores and your local  library.    

'Cress'

If you haven't explored the Young Adult genre yet, I suggest you do it.  When I go to the library, I generally check out the YA section before I wander over to Fiction. There are some incredible YA books being published right now, and one series in particular has kept me awake as I read far into the night.  

I love the dystopian settings in many adult S/F-Fantasy books, and it seems to be the setting of choice for many new YA novels.  'Hunger Games' is a prime example.  

But the main theme of 'female revolutionary' grabbed my attention.  It's about time that girls evolved into human beings capable of fighting alongside boys.  In fact, most of the girls portrayed in these books are total bad asses, which, to me, is a breath of fresh air.

Of course, there will always be a bit of romance in the stories.  And why not?  People are attracted to each other; it's nature.  And sure, the girls feel all tingly inside when they are kissed.  Who isn't?  But when that kiss is followed by a bad-ass fighting scene, I'm in reader's heaven.

That brings me to 'The Lunar Chronicles', a fantastic series written by the equally-fantastic Marissa Meyer.  By the way, Marissa, thanks for putting Book Hog on the cape! *wink* *wink*.

'Cinder', the first in the series, is about a young female cyborg mechanic who is ignored/used by her awful stepmother.  But Cinder has a secret, a secret that she discovers not far into the series.   The Lunar Queen Levana is hell bent on conquering Earth, and in order to do that, she becomes betrothed to Prince (soon to be Emperor) Kai of Earth.  It is a stimulating, beautifully-written story, which leads us to...

'Scarlet', the second in the series.  Scarlet lives on a farm in France with her grandmother, and...well, read my review from last year.

And now we have 'Cress', the third book.  A book I couldn't put down.  Cress is Meyer's Rapunzel, a young Lunar girl trapped not in a tower, but a satellite.  She monitors the comings-and-goings of Earth's military, discovering their secrets for her Queen.  But Cress is lonely and, left to herself, becomes a serious hacker.  When Queen Levana wants her to find Cinder and her accomplice, Captain Thorne, Cress uses her hacking talent to find and contact Cinder.  A revolution is in the making, and Cress, Wolf, Scarlet, Thorne, and Cinder lead the charge.

It's wonderful to be so excited about a series, be it adult or YA or Independent Reader.  And once you read 'Cinder', you'll be excited, too.  Book Hog bets this series will be just as popular as Suzanne Collins' 'Hunger Games' series. Marissa Meyer has a genuine gift of putting her readers right inside the action and stimulating so many emotions. The quality of her writing remains consistent throughout. 'The Lunar Chronicles' is a great take on the familiar fairy tales we all love...

...and now with kick-ass heroines.


'Cinder', the third book in 'The Lunar Chronicles' by Marissa Meyer, is now available at your library and local bookstore.